October 18, 2021

WHAT MADE ME BEGIN THE JOURNEY

By Jennah Muhammad
WHAT MADE ME BEGIN THE JOURNEY

Life is a series of experiences and to my understanding those experiences mold us into the people that we are. I can go as far as to say, those experiences shape our personalities. What if someone has less than loving and comforting experiences? What happens then? Do they take the shape of those experiences and project that back onto the world? Are they now perceived as a cold hearted, quickly angered, individual after mirroring those experiences? More often than not, that is the case. From day one on the earth side, you’re already bombarded with stimuli that will soon determine who you are. You’re born into a  family with specific beliefs, who live in a particular city, in a certain state, in a country, and so on..When do we ever get the chance to define what we are? In my case, it was when I clearly identified what I was not! The things that brought me anxiety, I had to dissect them. The experiences that left me feeling less than powerful, I had to dismantle them. I had to question every aspect of life as I knew it, and I had to be brave enough to redefine my life in the ways that feel most fulfilling, even if that means being misunderstood. I started tuning into every aspect of my being. What foods were making me feel fatigued? What crowds and people were making me feel uneasy? What were the factors hindering my confidence? My  journey to self began with me being so incredibly uncomfortable with the self that my experiences had created.

I understand that it's easy to stay in your small self, maybe you just stop caring and become numb to life. You get a job, you get a partner, a home, you pay bills, you work for 40 years, you retire, and you stay in that small underdeveloped life until you pass on. I understand that it is easy to numb yourself and to follow the majority, I also overstand that you and I are larger than that dwarfed life, and the box that society tries to place us all in. So I’ve decided to be more, to be the fullest and most abstract being that I can be, to live and to love on my own terms, to self define my life, to redefine my entire SELF. To stand so firmly in my power that it encourages others to dig deeper, to live deeper.